I had a family day! I talked to many members of my family today. In particular, My mother and I finally had an actual conversation about the abuse she experienced as a child and how she feels about her family (especially the part that I am going to stay with). The part that I am staying with, have told her that they feel partially responsible for the continual abuse she experienced as a child. My mother told me that they are good people but they made a mistake in not reporting/stopping the abuse that was happening. It was good that we talked about what happened and how she feels (it has been a mystery for such a long time, and I have gotten hints and I had an inaccurate picture of what happened, it feels good to know the truth).
In other news, during that convo I found out my moms brother (who she is not in contact with) is gay. Which makes me feel proud/happy for some reason (it feels good to know that it runs in my blood, that my being gay comes from somewhere).
I guess the only conflict I have is my sister is angry at my family for what they did to my mother and for some reason i don't want to feel anger or i don't feel anger? I don't think it's not my right/duty to be angry. I asked my mom if she thinks I should be angry and she said she doesn't want me to be angry or think i should be angry. But I feel a little guilt for not being angry or suppressing anger possibly? What do you all think?
Missing you all and wishing you well in the first week of June,
Stuart
No, I don't think you should have to make yourself feel angry/upset--it's not genuine. You're visiting them w/ your sister, though, right? Hopefully there won't be any awkward confrontations about it. Still, I'm glad that she talked about it with you beforehand so there's at least more understanding about what actually happened. Besides, you haven't met those family members yet in person--I think it's best to decide on your feelings about them, anger or not, after you meet them in person.
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