I have some feelings but they are under control... for now

The following are a few of my feelings.

A. I am excited/not that nervous about leaving. Well beside my visa not being ready. I feel confident that I can handle transatlantic flying, Scottish relatives, France, and South Africa. 
B. For the past three nights, I have had beautiful dreams about boys. One I watched Prometheus (which I say today and I thought was kind of really brave and powerful, I cried) with Stanley and then walked home feeling proud of myself. Two I had sex with a homeless man, he penetrated me anally and then I looked at his asshole and was like I am not sticking anything up there. By the way, I think a group of people I knew watched me have sex with him (maybe you guys? proud). Last night I had a dream about the house in South Africa. I had to share my bed with a ginger in a room with no walls and people kept on walking by. I think my dreams are rather progressive and call me to accept/love/not give a fuck about others. Also that there is too many walls in sex. These dreams are all a result of sleeping too much and too many cookies.
C. Only negative feeling (well beside the normal ones that I will be stranded in an airport or left alone with no money. all very rational) is that I keep on making up pre-perceived notions about the people in my South Africa group. It's like I am judging them before I know them by like creating them based on stuff like their gender, perceived race, and names. And I know that they are not at all who I imagine and I tell myself to stop but I keep on doing it and then feel guilty. I think it stems from me caring alot about what I think about myself and guilt about how I treat others. It feels good to write that, feels a little weight has been lifted.
D. I am having to shave my face a lot more and I find it necessary and painful and annoying. Can I get electrolysis on my face. I'm sure you all feel my pain, considering you all have to shave more parts of your body then I do.

Keeping it really in Chi-town,

Stuart