Hola blog,
I'm sorry to be such an absentee parent. However, I've been awake for 38 hours straight and my brain WILL NOT SHUT OFF. Tonight is the eve of my mother visiting, however, and I've a ton of shit to before my 11:30, and classical music just isn't rocking me to sleep. So here we are. Cue the timpani drumroll.
I went to Molly's to pick up some stuff I forgot and ended up talking to her for 2 hours tonight about being maladjusted, which was nice. We talked really loudly and she didn't laugh at any of my stupid jokes, more power to her. Except Molly is rather intimidatingly well-adjusted and is already doing psych research, whereas I'm quite proud I didn't spend all day in my ill-fitting leggings, participated repeatedly in every class, and ate something besides creme-filled cookies today. Apparently if I want to get any research done with a Fordham grant I have to apply by next week and I have no idea how to go about this, I have a vague idea about the Mexican government's corruption and Latin American inflation and all my professors are either retired/on sabbatical/have known them for three weeks and I have no idea how to draft some abstract shit, or even worse make a lasting connection with a random professor, by October 1st. Lots of frantic, unprepared emails to Dean Gould. I can't believe I actually have to think about the summer right now.
I forgot to call my dad yesterday for his birthday. Fuck, I need to find a time to do that tomorrow. As if I needed a reason to hide in a bathroom while my mom visits.
What else? My roommates have been good so far; I'm glad I have the loft, though, so I have the right balance of being a socially awkward loner and having someone to talk to at the end of the day. But they're currently the only friends I have, and while they're funny and we get along well, I miss you guys like an Overly Attached Polyamorous Girlfriend. Also my loft adjoins these obnoxious sporty girls who ruined my almost-nap with their grunting and country music. I hate athletes. Do any of your schools have them? Also why must it take them five minutes each to figure out how to swipe into the caf?
At some point in the next ten years I will get my shit together, but in the meantime I'd better go in for Round 2 of sleeping. Thanks, blog, for letting me get my insomniac worries and furies off my chest, I promise I'll be more cheerful/insightful/coherent in my next post.
Toodaloo, as my new bro-friend Mike says (to all of his bros, who of course are also named Mike)
I'm gonna go eat the chocolate bar I left within arm's reach
Friday, September 21, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Hot African Mess
I tried to leave Justine a fucking comment like 5 times but the internet/blog spot kept fucking up. and then when i finally did send it, it had a spelling error.
WAHHHHH!!!!! I am in crying in somebody's bed, not eating my meal in the caf mood. But i am also super happy and ecstatic. Too many feelings!
I have so much to fucking write and it's 11 pm and I have been trying to write this stuff for the past three days and I have been failing at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHH AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHH
Okay here goes
Mid-semester trip: Went on trip around South Africa, ended up in Kruger National Park (something you guys have to do!). Saw a mother and father wild dog regurgitate their food and feed their pups, also saw an adorable tortoise crossing the road. But on this trip I had several firsts: Bungee Jumped, Went Skinny dipping in the iNdian ocean, and got high. I also masturbated in like 3 provinces of South Africa. The other highlight of the trip were the malls, people in South Africa be looking and acting all sorts of up. In Soweto (which is like the home of black consciousness and is the first black neighborhood I have ever seen who citizens are empowered and financially independent from whites), there was a mall and it was all black people but it was like the white malls at home, it made me think how stupid racism is (i am trying to figure out what that means, but i think it just means, like racism can be so easily disproved but the economic conditions prevent it from being disproved in the states).
Another highlight was just sitting in the bus and looking at the landscape (especially the rural communities in the Eastern Cape). South Africa, unlike the states, does not do the whole billboard thing and exits with fast food every 2 miles. I actually think one of the most beautiful things about South Africa is how easy the natural and built world blend with each other. The industry and modern stuff does not take away from the beauty but kind of enhances it.
By far my favorite moment was in Kruger. We had been in the car for hours, you can't get out of the car because the animals are just living and not in cages. We drove up to this monument that was on a rockish mountain/hill thing and me and this girl Sam hiked away from everybody else and sat on a rock. Below us lay the savanna and soon we couldn't hear anybody else and we could only hear the nature and it was so quiet and the savanna was so beautiful, i think it was one of the most beautiful landscapes I have ever seen. And it just makes the sky look so blue and the clouds to look like there is a heaven. I was thinking up there, this is where I want to get engaged. Surprisingly, i also experienced that quiet when I was bungee jumping (off the worlds highest bridge bungee nbd) after i jumped and i was hanging there waiting for the guy to come and get me. It was the most intense quiet, i felt super at peace (in a hippie voice, pass the bong).
We were at the airport for 7 hours and me, Shatevia, Shannon, and Jason (stalk them in my pics) sat around and talked about each other's best and worst qualities and I just felt true community for the first time on the trip. It was such a high!
Also very few colon troubles during trip but damn did I have some horrible gas!
I am still riding the high from the trip but a few feelings.
1. Went back to service today, and it was chaos, and I just gave up. It's so frustrating and I have no idea what I am doing there and I hate feeling like I am not doing anything and am a failure who is not going to amount to anything. But tonight, we had our weekly meeting and the program director talked about dealing with chaos and now I feel renewed and ready to go back.
2. Also at our meeting tonight a lot of people in my house were complaining about the trip and the tour guide especially. And they were being very insensitive and rude. And I just got up and walked out and when I came back I saw Caroline (fb stalk) crying about the meeting, so I go my backbone on and said my say and I am proud of myself for saying what I said but then i regressed to a ten year old and was awkward and self-conscious. But I cried in my bed for a bit, so I am feeling better.
3. A BOY! Duran, also fb stalk. Long story short, we met at sign language, we hung out as friends, texted him how was his break and he texted back among other things, "I missed you". We are hanging out tomm, I am thinking a SA fling or something more! He seems like a good guy! Funny thing though, when i met him, he came off as gender ambiguous, i couldn't figure out what he was at first. It was a dark car and I was sitting on his lap. (P.S. texting on a pre-paid phone is so much more exciting that a contract phone)
I miss you guys so much!
Love you all!
Justine great work on ur entries!
Isabel and RAE (you have really been slacking) get on it!
WAHHHHH!!!!! I am in crying in somebody's bed, not eating my meal in the caf mood. But i am also super happy and ecstatic. Too many feelings!
I have so much to fucking write and it's 11 pm and I have been trying to write this stuff for the past three days and I have been failing at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHH AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHH
Okay here goes
Mid-semester trip: Went on trip around South Africa, ended up in Kruger National Park (something you guys have to do!). Saw a mother and father wild dog regurgitate their food and feed their pups, also saw an adorable tortoise crossing the road. But on this trip I had several firsts: Bungee Jumped, Went Skinny dipping in the iNdian ocean, and got high. I also masturbated in like 3 provinces of South Africa. The other highlight of the trip were the malls, people in South Africa be looking and acting all sorts of up. In Soweto (which is like the home of black consciousness and is the first black neighborhood I have ever seen who citizens are empowered and financially independent from whites), there was a mall and it was all black people but it was like the white malls at home, it made me think how stupid racism is (i am trying to figure out what that means, but i think it just means, like racism can be so easily disproved but the economic conditions prevent it from being disproved in the states).
Another highlight was just sitting in the bus and looking at the landscape (especially the rural communities in the Eastern Cape). South Africa, unlike the states, does not do the whole billboard thing and exits with fast food every 2 miles. I actually think one of the most beautiful things about South Africa is how easy the natural and built world blend with each other. The industry and modern stuff does not take away from the beauty but kind of enhances it.
By far my favorite moment was in Kruger. We had been in the car for hours, you can't get out of the car because the animals are just living and not in cages. We drove up to this monument that was on a rockish mountain/hill thing and me and this girl Sam hiked away from everybody else and sat on a rock. Below us lay the savanna and soon we couldn't hear anybody else and we could only hear the nature and it was so quiet and the savanna was so beautiful, i think it was one of the most beautiful landscapes I have ever seen. And it just makes the sky look so blue and the clouds to look like there is a heaven. I was thinking up there, this is where I want to get engaged. Surprisingly, i also experienced that quiet when I was bungee jumping (off the worlds highest bridge bungee nbd) after i jumped and i was hanging there waiting for the guy to come and get me. It was the most intense quiet, i felt super at peace (in a hippie voice, pass the bong).
We were at the airport for 7 hours and me, Shatevia, Shannon, and Jason (stalk them in my pics) sat around and talked about each other's best and worst qualities and I just felt true community for the first time on the trip. It was such a high!
Also very few colon troubles during trip but damn did I have some horrible gas!
I am still riding the high from the trip but a few feelings.
1. Went back to service today, and it was chaos, and I just gave up. It's so frustrating and I have no idea what I am doing there and I hate feeling like I am not doing anything and am a failure who is not going to amount to anything. But tonight, we had our weekly meeting and the program director talked about dealing with chaos and now I feel renewed and ready to go back.
2. Also at our meeting tonight a lot of people in my house were complaining about the trip and the tour guide especially. And they were being very insensitive and rude. And I just got up and walked out and when I came back I saw Caroline (fb stalk) crying about the meeting, so I go my backbone on and said my say and I am proud of myself for saying what I said but then i regressed to a ten year old and was awkward and self-conscious. But I cried in my bed for a bit, so I am feeling better.
3. A BOY! Duran, also fb stalk. Long story short, we met at sign language, we hung out as friends, texted him how was his break and he texted back among other things, "I missed you". We are hanging out tomm, I am thinking a SA fling or something more! He seems like a good guy! Funny thing though, when i met him, he came off as gender ambiguous, i couldn't figure out what he was at first. It was a dark car and I was sitting on his lap. (P.S. texting on a pre-paid phone is so much more exciting that a contract phone)
I miss you guys so much!
Love you all!
Justine great work on ur entries!
Isabel and RAE (you have really been slacking) get on it!
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